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I wish I could say, ‘What’s wrong with being a lustful woman?’ Feminism has brought women more equality, more dignity, and more power. Many women hope that if they offer themselves sexually, love will flourish.I wonder sometimes to what extent the scarcity of sex in the past forced men to be more patient; to romance, to put more emphasis on foreplay.And I don’t mean the five minutes before penetration – I mean the entire seduction dance.

I love the skin-on-skin contact, and also the orgasms. I sleep with men on the first date, but then I find they don’t want to see me again.’ Rachel has been single for eight years and says: ‘I’m a lusty woman in my twenties, and I want to have sex. But I feel judged by men when they don’t contact me again.’ It doesn’t sound to me that the men necessarily judge Rachel, but perhaps the men were just interested in sex and not a relationship.

That said, when we invite people for dinner, we enjoy receiving a thank-you note that acknowledges the pleasure of being together.

So I understand Rachel’s disappointment, and her feeling of being dismissed afterwards.

Unfortunately, in our culture we can easily feel disposed of, replaced and insignificant.

Too often people lack the kindness and grace that should accompany a sexual encounter, even if it is a recreational one.

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So many women (and men) wonder the next day if the pleasure of the encounter was mutual.

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